Juan Pablo: #TestingPositive Day 9

For many of us- or at least yours truly- seeking out the positive, the joyful, those things worthy of rejoicing and celebration, can be difficult when our minds are habituated to that which is cynical, caviling, and calumniatory.

But sometimes, those reasons for joy jump out at us without our ever having to search for them.

One of those reasons is Juan Pablo.


As if that smile isn’t already permanently seared into your memory….let me remind you.

In case you missed it (it’s not like I was terribly subtle about it), Juan Pablo is one of my favorite things.  Julie Andrews can have her “raindrops on roses” and “whiskers on kittens,” because I’ll take the “bright eyed, beautifully-accented Venezuelan with a body sculpted from marble” any day.

juan pablo daughter

That is Juan Pablo demonstrating his hands-on parenting abilities with his daughter, Camila.
Be still, my ovaries.

I was ecstatic during the last season of ABC’s The Bachelorette when Desiree sent everyone’s favorite foreigner packing, because it meant that beautiful hunk of man was free….free to fly to mama (I’m “mama,” in case you’re wondering), initiate a whirlwind courtship, and whisk me off into a sunset of wedded trophy-wife bliss. 

A girl’s got to be able to dream, you know?

Juan Pablo decided to rake in few more grand by appearing as the man du jour (although, really, when is he not?) on ABC’s upcoming season of The Bachelor.  Although I’m not pleased at the thought of 25 new women clamoring all over his goodies, I understand that this is in preparation for his grand plan of sweeping me off my feet when he walks into my life as the ultimate sugar-daddy/man of my dreams.

Therefore, I’ll allow it.

Here’s what you need to know  about Juan Pablo…

(As you can tell, brevity has never been my strong suit.)


juan pablo shirtless

2.  His season of The Bachelor will premiere on January 6, 2014 (which will heretofore be observed as a national holiday)…that’s 83 days away, if you’re counting. Which you should be.

  • 2A.  As sure as Juan Pablo will be melting hearts, I will be blogging about every mother-lovin’ episode.  You are highly encouraged to follow along.

3.  I have some very promising connections for Juan Pablo’s season of The Bachelor.

  • 3A.  Numero Uno: One of Juan Pablo’s potential paramours formerly worked for my current company, and one of my work friends has friends that are friends with her.  Also, she lives in the same county as me…which means that, should she make it to the final four and be given a Hometown Date, Juan Pablo will be coming to visit me my town the city next to my town.  God bless America!  Would you blame me for crashing their Hometown Date while wearing my shortest dress and highest heels?  I didn’t think so.
  • 3B.  Numero Dos: I’m not one of those easy broads.  You’ll have to keep checking in to find out about how I may kind of sort of know someone who works for the show.  Yeah, you heard me.  But you’ve gotta at least buy me dinner keep reading to find out more.

Thank you, Juan Pablo, for being you.

PS: Cheers to Venezuela for producing such a piece of art.

juan pablo funn

He’s even gorgeous when he’s making weird faces. This bodes well for the genetic potential of our future offspring.

PPS: Juan Pablo, I’ll be waiting for you over here with my cats budgie.


6 thoughts on “Juan Pablo: #TestingPositive Day 9

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