To whom it may concern:
I have been out of the [virtual] office today due to other obligations. Said obligations include enjoying the sunshine, sharing ribald jokes with friends, meeting hunky firefighters, and making pasta from scratch.
I believe this is what some would call “the good life.”
I’ll be back tomorrow with the usual shenanigans.*
*Not true. I’m bringing twice the usual shenaniganery tomorrow. Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife….