21st Century Livin’

Sometimes I’m just really glad to be living in the 21st century, you know?

 

Wouldn’t it be such a drag if we had to worry about smallpox and polio or having to use chamber pots or writing dissertations using a typewriter?  Sure, this century has it’s own host of problems – like, oh…health insurance? pehaps? – but at least we have anesthesia.  So while it might take half a year and a $3k co-pay to get a biopsy for that weird mole on your shoulder, but at least they can shoot you up with Novicane.  If this were the 19th century, you’d have to chug a bunch of whiskey and then bite down on a strap of leather while they sliced your skin open to excise that potential basal cell carcinoma.*

 

Lucky for us, the 21st century includes this wonderful thing called the internet, which makes it possible for odd ducks like me to “blog” (aka self-publish our extensive rants about body image, feminism, and men) and for everybody else to enjoy things like Twitter and Google and pictures of Will and Kate’s wedding baby baby #2.  So in honor of this lovely modern existence…and the fact that it’s 4pm on Thursday and we’re 25 hours away from Friday happy hour…here are some exciting, inspiring, amusing, or otherwise noteworthy things that you probably would never have seen if it weren’t for being alive during a time where chamber pots live in the Smithsonian** rather than under your bed.

 

If you’ve seen Gravity, you’ll appreciate this 15-second parody by Jamie Foxx:

I can’t be the only one who’s grateful to have lived during the prime of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s career (after they were potty-trained and before they started dressing like street people), and witness the unforgettable glory that was their multiple on-camera paramours:

MKandA bfs

College these days is apparently pretty cool.  Especially if you go here (Europeans, man…):

cool uni

I mean, I’m glad I was born after the Civil War, but it’s pretty dang cool to be able to see it in color:

civil war color

Ulysses S. Grant, who- based on striking physical similarities- is apparently closely related Robin Williams.

Speaking of seeing things in color…this video of Helen Keller speaking is incredible, and totally makes me want to take back all the Helen-jokes I’ve made over the years (which will probably require about 312 Hail Mary’s, although I’m not a priest so I can’t be sure):

Maybe our social skills have suffered with the technological revolution, but at least we can take use that technology take tests that tell us exactly how bad our people-skills are.  I don’t want to brag, but I only got two wrong:

emotions

This ones for all you single ladies.  I mean, like it’s not enough that guys today have access to regular showers and toothpaste and all (and, unfortunately, chest-hair-trimmers), because some have evolved into this.  I know that it’s not fair to judge men based soley on appearance, and the best they have to offer is their intangible qualities like chivalry and smelling like tobacco and Irish Spring soap , but as I told one of my friends today…”Sometimes mama just wants some sugah, you know?” And amen to that.

aussie bachelor

That Speedo is totally forgiveable. Thank you, Lord, for Australia.

 

On that note, I rest my case.

Happy 21st-century-Thursday, folks.

 

 

*Ok, in all reality, people in the 19th century probably didn’t even know what skin cancer was, let alone the ABCD’s of moles (Asymmetry, Border, Color, and Diameter – the chief indicators of a mole being cancerous) or the importance of twice-yearly skin-examinations.

 

**Actually, I hope they don’t have chamber pots in the Smithsonian.  Because that’s both foul and unsanitary.

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