So in honor of “Throwback Thursday” (the instagram phenomenon that’s essentially an excuse for everyone to show off how cute they were as kids), I figured I’d throw it back a little here on the blog. Let’s look at the highlights…and, um, lowlights…from my recent past.
[Full disclosure: This is pretty much me rambling. It’s the hilarious and/or completely irrelevant stuff that I can’t fit into a tweet. Enjoy. Or, don’t. Your choice. See, I’m progressive like that.]
minutes seconds of fame.
This past Monday night when Chris Harrison, aka “The Fairy Godmother of the Bachelor Franchise,” tweeted at me.
Yeah, I’m still coming to terms with that. Thank you to everyone who joined me in celebrating this first step towards getting my own TV show. After all, we all know that being BFF’s with Chris Harrison is a gateway drug. [Basically, I’m like the Kardashians, but with less money, less eyeliner, more student loans, and no TV show. But at least I have the dark hair and a derriere with its own zip code.]
Speaking of The Bachelor, if you missed the live-tweeting action from Tuesday, check it out HERE [#JUANtweets].
Throwback to…poor decisions.
A couple weeks ago, I thought buying strawberry-scented shampoo was a good idea. It sounded so nostalgic and wholesome and girlishly feminine at the time.
In real life/the shower, it just feels and smells like I’m rubbing cough syrup on my head. Lesson learned. Please just don’t judge me if you hug me and I smell like I’ve bathed in Nyquil. I promise I’m not abusing OTC drugs.
Throwback to…even poorer decisions.
Getting my diploma at graduation was not my proudest moment. Sure, I’m proud of getting my bachelor’s degree and the work that it took…but in an effort to “go out with a bang,” I decided to throw a few vigorouship-thrust into the air before walking across stage. And the jumbo-tron camera happened to be filming me at the moment. Definitely not the best choice.
[Especially since now I work at my alma mater, and people still bring it up.]
Throwback to...embarrassing moments.
Shortly after graduating last summer, while I was wallowing in the throes of unemployment, I hit rock bottom. Literally. I sat down on the hammock in our backyard and broke it. My butt broke a hammock. So technically, I hit grass bottom. And rock bottom, if you count my rock-solid berdonk. [Riiiight.]
Needless to say, I went straight to the library and checked out every diet book they had on the shelves.
Throwback to…fashion faux pas.
I did it again, yall. I let my inner Person of Walmart come out. And did she ever. Leggings worn as pants, no makeup, bad hair, and fake Uggs. My apologies, world, my apologies.
Throwback to…even worse fasion faux pas.
I have these purple pants. Ok, they’re not pants, they’re leggings. They’re lined with fleece, and they are warm and comfortable and I love them for working out in the cold. However, when worn with my favorite purple running shirt, they make me look…different. Kind of Barney the dinosaur. Or a bloated grape. Forget “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?”…think more like “The Girl Who Ate Gilbert Grape.”
Or, as my dad put it: “You look like a Teletubby.”
Throwback to….bad habits.
Over the summer I said I was giving up coffee. It just wasn’t doing me any good, and I’d prefer pearly white teeth over the sweet, sweet serotonin rush from the liquid crack.
That is the face of relapse. I just can’t help myself. And also, I discovered homemade soy mochas made with stevia. It’s like Tinkerbell and Gandalf made magic in my coffee cup. [Don’t think too hard on that one, folks.]
Throwback to…that time blogging became worth it.
Writing is, you know, a thing for me. It’s what I studied in college, so I’m used to it. I enjoy the act of writing. And normally, people tell me I’m reasonably good at it. Blogging is weird because it’s basically self-publishing, and when you’re starting out, it can be hard to gauge how well you’re doing. As I muddle through my “funemployment” phase over summer and started adjusting to my part-time job over the past couple months, I was really questioning why I was writing. After all, this blog is just a collection of silly stories at the end of the day. I don’t get paid, and it takes up a good chunk of time. And then over the past couple weeks, people started coming to me out of the blue and telling how much they find my blog enjoyable, or resonant, or helpful. That’s the stuff. That’s why I write- so that people can read the things that need to be said. So they can laugh a little. So they can remember that they’re not in it alone, and they’re probably better off than they think.
Forget throwbacks, let’s make this “Thankful Thursday.”
Thanks for reading, friends. Thanks letting me blabber at you, and thanks for letting me know when these little words hit home. Yall make this worth it, and I am so thankful.