Drinking Season

The season for drinking…smoothies….is upon us once again.  Well, maybe not for yall who are still recovering from that little Polar Vortex thing that turned the East Coast into a tundra.  But out here in California, it is definitely smoothie season.

I mean, I already have tan lines on my donk, yall.  That has to mean something.

At any rate, I’m a big fan of smoothies.  Not some crazy obsessed smoothie freak like I used to be (mama likes to chew her food, you know?), but I’m still a fan.  Partly because I got a Ninja blender for Christmas.  Seriously, it’s easily the best (tangible) gift I’ve ever received.

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But no matter what kind of blender you have, smoothies are fantastic for two main reasons:

  • they’re a piece of cake to make (but better for you than an actual piece of cake)- although cleaning blender blades can be a real pain in the arse…just throw stuff in there and hit “go.”
  • you can hide all kinds of weird healthy junk in there without having to taste it.  I hate the taste of spinach, but if you whiz a handful of that nasty goodness into a smoothie that tastes like fruit, I’ll drink it by the pitcher.

In the spirit of smoothie season, I figured I’d share some of my favorites with you.  There’s no real rhyme or reason to these “recipes.”  Use whatever proportions of the suggested ingredients you’d like and blend to your desired consistency…get creative, add your own twist, and let me know how it turns out.  After all, I have been told that I have a knack for concocting decent blended beverages.

Actually, I believe “bomb-ass smoothie maker” was the direct quote…but let’s not argue semantics.

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All these recipes are for roughly one serving.  If you don’t have an enormous appetite like me, you might have some leftovers to share.  Any kind of milk – dairy, soy, almond, hemp, etc. – can be used.  If you want to add a handful or two of spinach/kale (or flax meal, chia seeds, etc.) to your smoothie, go for it.  It might make your smoothie look like swamp juice, but it should still taste terrific.  Happy blending!  

Schoolgirl

This one’s a classic.  Think of it as a drinkable PB&J (bonus points for wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform while making it).

  • frozen banana(s)
  • frozen berries (I think raspberries or a mix works best)
  • a scoop of peanut butter
  • vanilla Greek yogurt +/or kefir
  • milk
  • oatmeal (blend it with everything or mix in after) or granola (sprinkle it on top)

Hungry Monkey

Named in honor of one of my best friends, whose lifelong nickname is “Monkey.” As expected, she loves bananas, and also smoothies.  I like making this with as little milk as possible, so the texture is like soft-serve ice cream.

  • frozen banana(s)
  • a generous scoop of peanut butter
  • a spoonful of cocoa powder
  • vanilla or chocolate protein powder (if that’s your jam)
  • milk
  • granola, mini chocolate chips (do it), or whatever mix-ins you’re feeling like

Wahine in a Bikini

Slap on some bikini bottoms and park yourself in a sandbox, and it will almost feel like you’re on the big island.  (Sexy cabana boy not included.)

  • frozen banana(s)
  • frozen mango
  • frozen (or fresh) pineapple
  • coconut milk +/or orange juice +/or pineapple juice
  • shredded coconut, crushed macadamia nuts, granola, etc. for toppin’ things off

Dark Magic

I mean, I’m no wizard, but the whole cherries + dark chocolate combo tastes as good as Neville Longbottom looked after he lost the man-boobs in his prime.  I’ll take a tall glass of that anyday.

  • frozen cherries
  • whatever other frozen berries you want
  • milk +/or cranberry or pomegranate juice
  • a spoonful of dark cocoa powder
  • vanilla Greek yogurt or kefir
  • shaved dark chocolate for sprinkling on top, if you’re fancy like that

Creamsicle Dreamsicle

Obviously inspired by everyone’s favorite orange creamsicle popsicle, but without quite as much Type II Diabetes.  You’ll never need an ice cream truck again.

  • frozen banana(s)
  • a hefty scoop of 100% orange juice concentrate
  • vanilla protein powder (if that’s your thaaang)
  • milk + orange juice (equal amounts of each)
  • vanilla Greek yogurt
  • whipped cream to top it all off…just trust me on this one…

Bottoms up!  

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4 thoughts on “Drinking Season

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