Real Men Have Curves

We all know that the media sets incredibly unrealistic beauty standards for women.  It’s a big topic of discussion these days.  But men face equally unrealistic aesthetic standards…society just doesn’t like to talk about it that much.  Is it because feminism is such a strong cultural force that we’ve forgotten that men can be objectified and hyper-sexualized just as well as women? That’s certainly a big part of it, but as with any cultural issue, there are multiple factors at play.  I really am not looking to debate the reasons behind this social paradigm right now.  All I want to do is share a reminder that men face their fair share of “body-shaming” from the media as well.  Men, just as well as women, can walk by a newspaper stand and feel disheartened by the air-brushed, spray-tanned, and entirely unrealistic bodies they see on the magazine covers.

real men underwear

I’d pick the homie on the left every time. And not just because of the beard…although that’s definitely part of it.

Really, let’s break this down.  The model on the right is slimy looking.  Literally. Like he took a bath in chicken grease.  And look at the way he’s creepin’ over there, one hand on the random bar on the random red wall and the other hand on his underpants, like he’s saying, “Hey girl, wanna sneak a peek at my goods?”  No, no I don’t.  You look a little predatory, sir.  This ad does not make me want to buy Calvin Klein underwear, it makes me want to buy soap and pepper spray extra mags for my 9mm.

What about this one?

real men underwear 2

In the spirit of complete honesty, there is nothing attractive about looking like you stole a homeless man’s grocery cart and crammed all the loot down your pants.  That’s not cute.  It’s like Pam Anderson after her 5th boob job, but without any of the odd nostalgic sex appeal.  Speaking of sex appeal, Mr. Dolce & Gabana seems to have misplaced all traces of his chest hair.  The tragedy.  The only thing worse than that is the pedo-stache he’s got going on.  On the other hand, between the pectoral topiary, beard, and glasses, Mr. Four-Eyes on the on the left is packing some major kryptonite.

(If you want to see more photos from the comparison series, look HERE.)

So men, let me let yall in on a little secret, in case you haven’t figured it out already…we like real men better than Ken dolls.  It’s the truth.  So flaunt your man-curve (is it weird to say it like that?), you bodacious beasts.

(Ok, yeah, it was definitely weird to say it that way.  You know what I mean though.  And it’s true.)


3 thoughts on “Real Men Have Curves

    1. I always say I can’t be attracted to a man who isn’t bigger and stronger than me. If I can outlift him…well, no cold shower needed, haha.

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