Well, I waited until we were a week into October to bust out the pumpkin. That’s some impressive self-control, if you ask me.
I have, however, been secretly singing Christmas carols since a particularly overcast weekend in mid-September, so that might cancel out some of the aforementioned self-control.
But right now I’m going to channel my inner “bro” (or lady bro?) and share an easy way to make your protein game a little more festive for the autumn season. It’s perfect for after a workout, or after work, or after napping (or before), or at midnight or at noon or anytime really. Including after yoga, when you may or may not be standing half-naked and hungry in your kitchen, and you may or may not be struck with serendipitous pumpkin-laden protein inspiration. Not that I would know about that, or anything… It’s not the fanciest recipe out there, but I’m not exactly Curtis Stone, ladykiller and chef extraordinaire. (To be clear, by ladykiller I mean devastatingly gorgeous, not…you know…a Ray Rice type of joke. I’m offensive, but not that offensive.) It is, however, full of protein and fiber and vitamin A and anti-inflammatory spices and other good things…and, obviously, it’s damn tasty. Otherwise, I wouldn’t eat it. A broad’s got to have standards, you know? All it takes is 3 minutes, a microwave, and a little bit of magic.
[Fine. I lied. Magic is optional, you muggles. But the microwave is pretty nonnegotiable.]
3-Minute Pumpkin (Protein) Pie
[adapted from this microwave mug cake recipe]
Here’s what you’re going to need, bro:
- 1/2 cup liquid egg whites
- 1/3 cup pumpkin puree (not the pre-seasoned pumpkin pie mush)
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 2 tbsp flour (I made oat flour on the fly – just stick some dry oatmeal in a blender and go to town.)
- stevia or other sweetener to taste (I used about 8-10 drops of Trader Joe’s-brand liquid stevia)
- 1/2 tsp (or more…) cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp each: nutmeg + allspice + ground ginger
- a little baby-size sprinkle of ground cloves
And bro, it goes like this:
- Mix everything together well.
- Spray a bowl or mug with cooking spray or WD-40 whatever you like to use to grease things up. (I shouldn’t have to say this, but just in case I have some non-fluent readers or something: Do not use WD-40 to grease your mug.)
- Pour the mix into the greased bowl and nuke that baby on high for 3 minutes. You may need to cook it for less/more time if you live up in the Ozarks or have a microwave from 1992 or are suffering from some other weird altitude/technology issue. The bowl will be hot as fraack when it’s done, so put on your
big boy pantsoven mitts and turn that sucker out onto a plate. Presentation is important, so make your little protein pie look pretty.
- Devour that sucker.
- Make gains. [Optional, but recommended.]
If you’re really looking for a good time, then whip up some “icing” to slather on top.
- spoonful of peanut butter
- enough milk to thin it out
- cinnamon to taste
- a couple drops of stevia (or a small spoonful of maple syrup, if you’re into that stuff. #Canadians)
Stir, drizzle, enjoy. Do the happy-food-dance if you feel so inclined. [Spoiler alert: You will feel so inclined.]
Watch out, it’s about to get 50 Shades of Delicious up in here…
Are you aboard the pumpkin bandwagon?
Thoughts on microwaves, radiation, protein, and general bro-dom? Please share. (These are a few of my favorite things.)
Did you complete the survey yet? Pretty please? I promise it’s faster than a teen boy on prom night.