3-Minute Pumpkin (Protein) Pie

Well, I waited until we were a week into October to bust out the pumpkin.  That’s some impressive self-control, if you ask me.

I have, however, been secretly singing Christmas carols since a particularly overcast weekend in mid-September, so that might cancel out some of the aforementioned self-control.

But right now I’m going to channel my inner “bro” (or lady bro?) and share an easy way to make your protein game a little more festive for the autumn season.  It’s perfect for after a workout, or after work, or after napping (or before), or at midnight or at noon or anytime really.  Including after yoga, when you may or may not be standing half-naked and hungry in your kitchen, and you may or may not be struck with serendipitous pumpkin-laden protein inspiration. Not that I would know about that, or anything… It’s not the fanciest recipe out there, but I’m not exactly Curtis Stone, ladykiller and chef extraordinaire. (To be clear, by ladykiller I mean devastatingly gorgeous, not…you know…a Ray Rice type of joke.  I’m offensive, but not that offensive.)  It is, however, full of protein and fiber and vitamin A and anti-inflammatory spices and other good things…and, obviously, it’s damn tasty.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t eat it.  A broad’s got to have standards, you know?  All it takes is 3 minutes, a microwave, and a little bit of magic.

[Fine. I lied. Magic is optional, you muggles. But the microwave is pretty nonnegotiable.]

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3-Minute Pumpkin (Protein) Pie

[adapted from this microwave mug cake recipe]

Here’s what you’re going to need, bro:

  • 1/2 cup liquid egg whites
  • 1/3 cup pumpkin puree (not the pre-seasoned pumpkin pie mush)
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  •  2 tbsp flour (I made oat flour on the fly – just stick some dry oatmeal in a blender and go to town.)
  • stevia or other sweetener to taste (I used about 8-10 drops of Trader Joe’s-brand liquid stevia)
  • 1/2 tsp (or more…) cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp each: nutmeg + allspice + ground ginger
  • a little baby-size sprinkle of ground cloves

And bro, it goes like this:

  • Mix everything together well.
  • Spray a bowl or mug with cooking spray or WD-40 whatever you like to use to grease things up. (I shouldn’t have to say this, but just in case I have some non-fluent readers or something: Do not use WD-40 to grease your mug.)
  • Pour the mix into the greased bowl and nuke that baby on high for 3 minutes.  You may need to cook it for less/more time if you live up in the Ozarks or have a microwave from 1992 or are suffering from some other weird altitude/technology issue. The bowl will be hot as fraack when it’s done, so put on your big boy pants oven mitts and turn that sucker out onto a plate.  Presentation is important, so make your little protein pie look pretty.
  • Devour that sucker.
  • Make gains. [Optional, but recommended.]

If you’re really looking for a good time, then whip up some “icing” to slather on top.

  • spoonful of peanut butter
  • enough milk to thin it out
  • cinnamon to taste
  • a couple drops of stevia (or a small spoonful of maple syrup, if you’re into that stuff.  #Canadians)

Stir, drizzle, enjoy.  Do the happy-food-dance if you feel so inclined.  [Spoiler alert: You will feel so inclined.]

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Watch out, it’s about to get 50 Shades of Delicious up in here…


Are you aboard the pumpkin bandwagon?

Thoughts on microwaves, radiation, protein, and general bro-dom?  Please share.  (These are a few of my favorite things.)

Did you complete the survey yet? Pretty please? I promise it’s faster than a teen boy on prom night.


4 thoughts on “3-Minute Pumpkin (Protein) Pie

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