Bachelorette 2015: Week 3

Picking up where we left off…

Last week ended with the cryptic “To Be Continued…” after Kupah had gotten the red light from Kaitlyn and was outside pouting/yelling at the producer.  Spoiler alert: This week starts off with Kupah still outside yelling at the producer.  Let’s be real, thought: Even if he’s making everyone a little bit uncomfortable, mostly we’re just titillated by the drama of it all.  Kaitlyn goes outside to remind Kupah that she still doesn’t like him and acting like a spoiled child won’t make her change his mind. After she leaves he starts saying things about whispering and chlamydia.  It’s weird.  If you have some issues going on with your junk, go to your local clinic.  Pretty sure the camera guy isn’t going to be able to help you out much with that one.  Also, Tony has to so glad right now that Kupah is making him look good.

Speaking of Tony, this is what he had to say about the rose ceremony…

“I left my business, and my dog, and my bonsai trees, all the things that I love in this world.  I see the world through the eyes of a child.  I have the heart of a warrior and a gypsy soul. I’m here to make a statement, I’m here to make people at home think about what they truly want.” – Tony

What we want, Tony, is for you to shut up and go back to licking your bonsai trees and leave us tawdry peasants to enjoy the salacious delights of reality TV.

My favorite part of the rose ceremony:
“Chris, will you accept this rose?”
“Yes.” [Bares all his teeth.]
“So smiley!” [Giggles.]
With all the money that’s surely been poured into straightening/whitening/otherwise-perfecting smile, he’d better be showing off those chompers every chance he gets.

Rose ceremony ends with Cory and Daniel leaving, going back to selling real estate and men’s apparel [respectively].  Best of luck, fellas.

Group Date: Sumo Wrestling

photo source: Wet Paint

photo source: Wet Paint

It’s kind of a surreal moment when I realize I’m sitting here at 0530 in my pajamas watching mostly-naked grown ass men roll around with each other.  That’s kind of kinky, you know?  Then I realize I’m going to be writing about it, and I just feel dirty and kind of like I should be handing out candy from a white panel van with no windows.

[Dear future employers, please note that my record is squeaky clean – never even had a traffic ticket, and definitely never been inside a windowless panel van.  At least not since I left Tiajuana. But that’s a story for another day.]


This post was originally written for STAG.

To read the rest, head over to the blog at!


2 thoughts on “Bachelorette 2015: Week 3

  1. Can’t say that I was a huge fan of this episode. I had to fast forward through a lot of it. I just couldn’t get into the sumo date and, despite the kiddos being child actors, it really disturbed me the way the guys were discussing sex. It was just a little too much for me.

    That said, I’m still interested in seeing how this season plays out, I just wish the show would tap into some of their old ‘tricks’. I feel like I barely recognize it anymore…

    1. Oh yeah, during the sex ed portion I was wondering how any parent could ever sign off on their child taking a sex ed class from strange men on a reality show! When Kaitlyn revealed they were child actors, I started wondering how anyone would sign off on their kid doing a part like that where they had to memorize and listen to such explicit stuff.

      And yes, it’s so different! It could be really cool if they did a “throwback” season with less of the new gimmicky stuff.

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