Bachelorette 2015: Week 5

photo source: Wet Paint

photo source: Wet Paint

Picking Up Where We Left Off

Kaitlyn interrupts the cocktail party to take Clint outside and lay down the law.  And the whole time, all I can think is…

Villians gonna vill, son! 

The way they’re arguing makes no sense to me, but Clint is really good at spin.  And you can almost see the way Kaitlyn starts getting manipulated, then realizes what’s happening and decides to stick with her gut. [Homegirl mentions her gut a lot, anyone else notice that?  Like what’s up with you and digestion, amiga? You need to pop some Rolaids.]

When she brings Clint in to say goodbye – which is a weird move to begin with – JJ mucks things up further by telling Clint he should apologize to the house.  As Ian said, “Clint’s face goes from already sad, to even sadder.”

Really, I think Tanner summed up the bromantic disaster quite well:

“If you’re gonna be a dick, be a dick.  But don’t be a dick and then throw your best friend under the bus.  Because then you’re just an unloyal dick.”

Clint and JJ have that face off in the foyer, and I can’t tell if it’s tense because Clint clearly wants to strangle him or because of some weird sexual energy that’s emerging.  It was a mystery.  But I will say this – when Clint went out to the van and drove off, all I wanted out of life for that moment was for JJ to run outside hollering “Stellaaaaaaaa!”

And then, you know, JJ started crying.  Because Britt’s tears just weren’t enough for this season.
Tanner, where’s that Kleenex??

Group Date – Rap Battle

I love Johnathan’s reaction to the date card – “Let’s keep our date fresh.”
“What are we going to do, take a shower? Go to the spa?”  How about a field trip to those nude hotsprings people go to?  That would be exciting.

False alarm, they’re actually having a rap battle.  With some guy named Doug E. Fresh, who is apparently an “icon,” but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him and I definitely don’t know how to “dougie.” According to Wikipedia, our buddy Doug E. is from Barbados, just like our girl Rihanna, so there’s that.  At least I know the words to her song, “Umbrella.” Which is basically one word that is just repeated, and it’s obviously not rap.  But it’s something.

Anyway, I loved Shawn’s reaction to the rap battle announcement, and not just because I’m from Nashville.  I feel ya, hombre.  I feel ya.  I can barely sing along with the country stations, let alone freestyle rap.

JJ says that he’s “really never listened to rap in [my] life.  I listen to Broadway show tunes.”  That may or may not earn him a few points in my book, douchebaggery or no douchebaggery.  [It could also be something that points to him actually being in love with Clint in more than a bromantic way.]

“I don’t think there’s ever been a rap battle with two guys in khaki pants.”  Amen to that, Kaitlyn.


This post was originally written for STAG.

To read the rest, head over to the blog at!




2 thoughts on “Bachelorette 2015: Week 5

  1. The best thing about this episode was Nick. I wasn’t into either of the group dates and the single date was BORING! I felt bad for the guy though. I really love Shawn and I hope he doesn’t get picked because I think he could do better than Kaitlyn…

    Sorry not sorry. 😦

    1. Hahaha I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way! So many seasons I’ve watched this show and rooted for folks to get kicked off just because they’re so obviously of a different caliber than the “bachelore/ette” of the season. I remember one guy – Constantine Tzoris or something, from Ashley’s season a few years back – choosing to leave before the fantasy suite, and it was SO refreshing to see someone with A) standards and B) integrity!

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