Things pick back up in the land of cowboys and giant blonde blowouts – and things are still a mess in Texas. As Cupcake Chris said, “There’s a reason they call Texas the Wild West.”
Picking up where we left off…
Last week ended with Ian confronting Kaitlyn about how he felt that she was not as deep and serious as he would like her to be. Let’s just say he did not go about it as tactfully as one might hope a gentleman would…
But Kaitlyn’s got spunk, and she lays into Ian after he told her how he saw her as a surface-level person (and implied that he saw himself as too good for her). Eventaully she tells him he can leave, and he says that’s what he planned to do, and it’s the (un)romantic version of your boss firing your while you yell, “That’s fine, because I’m quitting anyway.” Except Ian doesn’t get a severance package, so there’s that.
He does have some choice words on his way out: “Kaitlyn’s shallow. She’s just not as complex as I am. I’m too deep a thinker, I’m too self aware, I’m ver y different from every person here…I’m glad. I’m way glad to be out of there!…I’m being punished for being intellectual.”
Then in the van, Ian starts going on about how he knows he would do a great job being the Bachelor on his own season, and predicts that women would be falling all over him for his intellectual depth and awareness of self.
Then he closes his eyes, rubs his head in exasperation, and moans (this is a direct quote), “Oh man, I need to have sex.”
Yeah, Kaitlyn, you definitely dodged a bullet with that one. Way to cut your losses and let him walk the plank. [Cue Kelly Clarkson-post breaktup- girl power anthem.]
The actual rose ceremony is held at the Alamo, which is super neat. The rose ceremonies are getting more and more interesting as the number of guys dwindles. At this point I don’t really like seeing anyone leave – even if they’re obviously not a good fit for Kaitlyn, they’re still entertaining characters we’ve gotten to “know” over the past six weeks. But alas, Josh (no big surprise there) and the lost Hanson brother …um, I mean, Justin…got the boot, and the rest of the group gets to head to Ireland for the next week. No big deal, that doesn’t make me incredibly jealous or anything.
Chris waxes poetic about the start of their time in Ireland- “Kaitlyn is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.” So that make him a leprechaun, right?
Kaitlyn picks Nick for the first one-on-one in Dublin. “Looks like I just got lucky in Dublin!” Yes you did, Nick, yes you did. (Maybe even luckier than you expected…you’ll see what I mean…) All is going well until they encounter a pack of birds as they’re walking through the park, and her bird-phobia goes into overdrive. Nick is a little puzzled, but he helps her make it through the park without having a full-on psychotic break…although he does admit, “We may never got to a park again.”
They find other ways to enjoy Dublin, including trying their hand (feet?) at Irish dancing, buying claddagh rings, drinking whiskey, and making out. Lots of making out. As Kaitlyn says, “Kissing Nick is great…when we’re together, it’s hot.” I mean, they’re having dinner in a cathedral (Why in a Cathedral? Because Chris Harrison said so. I don’t know. Just go with it.) and they’re still making out. I’d make a joke about telling them to “get a room,” but Kaitlyn beat me to the punch by suggesting Nick come back to her suite…except she wasn’t joking.
And I’m not even ashamed to admit that the obvious impending scandal made me more than a little giddy. This is why we love this show! (Hashtag scandalous. And also hashtag amazing.)
Meanwhile, Shawn and Jared are back at their hotel talking about Nick and whether he’ll make it to the end. Little do they know, he’s making it to the metaphorical finish line as we speak. Do you know how we know that? Because we keep getting panned back to these shots of the Kaitlyn’s suite, where the camera is trained on her closed bedroom door and all we can hear is moaning. (Don’t worry, there are subtitles…for better or for worse.) It was very strange.
And then things get weird because Nick comes back to the guys hotel the next morning and mentions going back to Kaitlyn’s suite the night before, and it’s just very, very uncomfortable. But that’s why we love it.
This post was originally written for STAG.
To read the rest, head over to the blog at LetsGoStag.com!